I saw my heart on the screen,
\nthe palpitations of my life.
\nThe engine of my soul.
\nThere, over my body,
\namong the porcelain finish of steel.
\nThe hunched shoulders of a surgeon
\nand his assistant.
\nDisjointed words back and forth
\nin the careful calibration of
\ncatheter and dye.<\/p>\n
I was not tranquilized into peace.
\nI knew with certainty that everything
\nI loved,
\nwas in the balance of their hands.
\nThat all the flashing thoughts
\ninside my brain
\ncould switch off like a lamp,
\nnot into darkness, but into nothing.
\nSo my world would end.<\/p>\n
No time to swim in resignation,
\nto waste my feelings in fear.
\nI had no crown of thorns
\naround my head,
\nI felt only sympathy and attachment
\nto these people keeping me alive.
\nI loved them because they were the nearest
\npeople I would ever know now.
\nLike a crawfish,
\nI was approaching death backward.
\nI wanted my eyes to see them.
\nMy ears to hear them.
\nMy heart to go from me to them.<\/p>\n
It was, what was left.
\nMy last treasure.
\nIt is what I know now.
\nWithout explanation,
\nfate opened and closed its eyelids
\nand said,
\nnot now,
\nanother time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I saw my heart on the screen, the palpitations of my life. The engine of my soul. There, over my body, among the porcelain finish…<\/p>\n